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Elevators. Interesting contraptions.

They’re basically a metal designed to propel humans to extreme heights or quickly plummet humans down from these heights to the ground.

Not to mention the experience of actually using an elevator – that being the 14 seconds of awkwardness endured in a confined space with strangers and regurgitated air.

This morning I had the pleasant experience of spending those 14 awkward seconds (I’m only on the 9th floor) with my shorter, louder (when it comes to breathing) boss.

Of course, the only words I could out during those 14 seconds …

“Oh, hi”.

Cue the rolling tumbleweeds, lite gushes of air etc etc.

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I received this nice email letter today …

Happy Birthday Christopher!
We hope you enjoy a very special day.
Thankyou for your ongoing support!
Best wishes from the Australian Democrats.

And at first I thought … “Ahh, that’s nice”.  Then I realized they called me ‘Christopher’ and I hate that!

My parents call me ‘Christopher’ when I’m in trouble so it brings back memories of being grounded and deprived of fun things.

Not happy with the Australian Democrats.

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This morning, crunching away, I had a brain overload. Thoughts, theories and general ideological riff raff was coming out of my brain like water running out of tap.

Aristotle would have been proud.

And with my thought shower – came one delightfully insightful theory.

And my theory, strap your seatbelt, is that cereal choice (yes, your beloved cereal) holds the key to understanding someone.

Allow me to elaborate.

Coco-Pops (”Just like a chocolate milkshake … etc etc”)

Someone who might be found eating Coco-Pops is likely to fun, a little silly, immature and full of “simple sugar” induced energy. You will also find them in a semi-coma at 11am due to a post-sugar dip. A bit like an 8 year old.

All Bran (Full of fibre, brown, tastes odd without sugar)

Now an “All Bran” is likely to very happy, low weight and slightly less sluggish than the rest of the office. This is due to the immense fibre overload causing your colon to literally release copious amounts of digested food from a person’s body. All Bran are also typically over 30 and therefore, in dire need of such things.

Muesli (with fruit and nuts)

Now Muesli eaters are your healthy types, aware of their energy in-take, realising that a good slow burning energy source at breakfast will keep you going all day. These people are also super serious and look down upon people like Bill who just walked in with a Bacon and Egg McMuffin. Expect Muesli eaters to slap you in the face if you take them to McDonald’s for lunch.

So you see … a little cereal can tell you a lot about what to expect from someone. And therefore, one can also assume that cereal (not counsellors or compatibility or … pfft … spending time with each other) is the best way to judge whether your boyfriend or girlfriend is the one for you.

Ahhhhhhhhh … and that is Chris’ personality theory for this month. You’re welcome!

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